Capital PUN-ishment Challenge

Capital PUN-ishment Challenge: Create pun nicknames for the entire opposing team and their team name

I tried to find some nice names for them, but I'm having some problems since English is not my mother tongue.
So far I got these ones:
Kalmo = Kalm down,yo
burning_phoneix = burning_phaggot
Dinner = Sinner
ItizPWNED = ItizPENIS
madcat = fatcat
Witch-King = Bitch-Thing
Alex = Anal Sex
Efrain = Cocaine
Philip J. Fry = Philip Gay Fry
Klax Tetris = Fags Tetris
RussianFedora = Rushing for the door-a
Wsxdas = fgsfds
Syndic = Syndick
Daniel Vazquez = Danielle Vaseline
Nikolaki8 = Dick-o-lot-i8
Teh Brawler = Teh Prowler
CitationNeeded = IntoxicationNeeded
RememberTheLolrus = DismemberTheLolrus (For some reason this is my favorite)
StJimmy = StSlimJimmy
Fridge Logic = Bitch Unlogic
Dr. Gregory Horse The Prototype = Dr. Gregory Hoes The Snipe
Team Triforce = Team Cryforce

Thank you very much,guys!

RussianFedora = Rushing for the door-a
Daniel Vazquez = D'Anal - Vas gays.
Nikolaki8 = Dick-o-lot-i8